


Ship it like Fed Ex

by cakeisnotpie



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Clint is bad at cheesy come ons, M/M, Sexual Fantasy, bad porn dialogue, my apologies to UPS and Fed Ex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-10 06:45:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2015076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cakeisnotpie/pseuds/cakeisnotpie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bad porn lines aside, there's something to be said for a little fantasy role play.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ship it like Fed Ex

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Psistriker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psistriker/gifts).



> Kathleen started this with a story from her workplace about someone who asked for package expert. This is what followed.

Phil tucked the towel tighter around his waist as he answered the insistent knocking.

“UPS,” the man in a brown shirt and brown shorts said. He was holding a box. “I’ve got a package for you.”

“Come in.” He opened the door wide, admiring the tight fabric that pulled across the man’s ass. “You can set it on the table.”

“Don’t worry. I’m a package expert; I know just how to take care of your junk.” Eyebrows wiggled and Clint bit back a smile. “I’ll be glad to help you open up.”

“Package expert?” Phil coughed as the door swung shut. “Really? That’s what you’re going with?”

“I’ll have you know I took that right from a Cocky Boys video,” Clint protested. “Come on, Phil, aren’t you going to look in the box?”

“You didn’t.” Phil couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh, God, Clint.”

Clint made a one-handed grab for Phil’s towel. “Come on, baby, I promise to deliver.”

“Tell me there’s not a hole in that box.” Phil sidestepped Clint’s fingers and took the box, pulling it away.

“Hey, do you know how difficult it was to get up here without revealing myself? Ms. Freeson was in the elevator and she asked if I had changed jobs.”  He waggled his hips, his cock half-hard and hanging out. “Surprise! A special gift, just for you.”

Phil covered his mouth to hide the chuckles that bubbled up. “Oh, I don’t think I can do this.”

Clint took the box from his hands and tossed it in the corner as he crowded Phil back. “I love logistics. Tell me what brown can do for you.”

“Stop,” Phil said through the laughter. “Those are so bad.”

“Yeah, I’m bad, baby. I move at the speed of your business.” Clint grinned at each terrible clichéd line.

Phil’s back hit the door. “That one doesn’t even sound sexy.”

“Fast and hard, that’s my business. Giving it to you fast and hard.” Clint’s eyes filled with mischief and humor. “Okay, how about I have the tightest ship in the business.”

“I thought the plan was for you to be the aggressor. If you’re the tight one …” Phil said.

“There’s no place for logic in a porn fantasy, Phil,” Clint complained. “Maybe I’ll go with Fed Ex … when you absolutely, positively have to come overnight.”

Phil groaned and let his head thunk back against the wood. “No, no, no. That’s terrible. Who thought this was a good idea?”

“You’re the one who answered the door in a towel,” Clint reminded him.

“And you had your dick in a box,” Phil shot back.

“And said dick is VERY interested in removing that towel and checking your package.” Even Clint chuckled on that one. “Okay, how about we try this?” He put both hands flat on the door, his sinewy arms on full display in the short sleeve shirt, and slowly levered himself towards Phil, his muscles contracting. “I want to run my tongue along the ink of your tattoo then suck my way up to your neck. I want to kiss you senseless then drag you back to the bed, lay you out on the quilt we bought together, and taste every single inch of your body. I want your hands in my hair and your dick in my mouth. I want you beneath me, legs spread as I sink inside you. I want to fill you up and make you come and I want to lay there, together, messy and sweaty and exhausted as we laugh about this. I want to curl up beside you, hold you all night and then wake you up in the morning with long slow strokes so I can see your face in the morning light that comes through the crack in the drapes as you call my name.”

A warm heat settled in Phil’s gut and there was no mistaking his body’s response to Clint’s words. “Yes,” he agreed.

“Good. Now, since we know towels are evil …” Clint shifted his weight to one hand and tugged the towel loose, tossing it into the empty box. He slid gracefully to his knees and slipped a hand under Phil’s stirring cock. “Don’t worry, Phil. I’ll make sure we get there. I guarantee it.”

 


End file.
